A Meager Orthodoxy

My hot, brilliant hairdresser wife was in the midst of a heated discussion with a client when I arrived to take her to lunch today. The client is a long-time member of the Christian and Missionary Alliance (C&MA) Church. For those of you not conversant with Pentecostalism, it's the denomination of A.W. Tozer. They are mainstream Pentecostals who have a strong emphasis on foreign missions.

The woman overheard my wife telling her previous client that she was having a difficult time deciding whom to vote for. (She's not convinced that "Bush sucks; give me anyone else," is a good argument.) The client, of course, began to inform her why Bush is a good Christian and a great candidate and why Christians ought to support the Republican party. It came down to abortion. She said she didn't want innocent blood on her hands. My wife responded that an unjust war led to the same predicament, so how could she vote for Bush? Hmm...

After meandering through the typical arguments in the OT, my wife made some statement about being a Christian, albeit a reluctant one. The woman quickly snipped: "Well, you're not an orthodox Christian." Uhm, if you mean I don't worship in one of the thirteen Eastern Orthodox Churches, you are correct. Other than that understanding, which isn't the correct one, what could she possibly mean? (Bear in mind, this woman is an engineer: no dummy by any measurement.)

This is what it has come to:

• Jesus is the Son of God. And God.
• Trinity
• Jesus was born of a virgin.
• Jesus lived a sinless life.
• Jesus died on the cross for our sins. Please add liberal doses of substitutionary language to unpack that expression.
• On the third day, he rose again.
• He ascended into heaven.
• He will come to Rapture the church.
• He will reign on earth for 1000 years.
• Armageddon, last things, white throne judgment, new heaven, new earth.
• The Bible is the inerrant, infallible word of God (don't even try to unpack that).
• Christians need to be involved in politics.
• Christians need to oppose abortion and homosexuality and premarital sex.
• Open theism is evil.
• Evolution is evil.
• Democrats (read liberals) are evil.

I know there is more, but this is the new definition of orthodoxy. I want to give credit to Barth for coining the term "Generous Orthodoxy," but I can't remember if he was first. It may have been Hans Frei. Either way, the neo-orthodox and now radical orthodox move to make room for more people at the table is getting crushed by a wave of fundamentalist and evangelical propaganda that makes the table smaller and the rules for entry stricter. They pretend that God cannot be fathomed when confronted with perplexities like YHWH murdering babies in the OT versus an insistence that abortion is wrong in contemporary culture, but insist that the whole thing makes perfect sense if we wafflers want to parse the OT overmuch. They quote pithy verses like "my thoughts aren't your thoughts" to explain the contradictions in Scripture (which "never affect doctrine"), but insist that orthodoxy can be narrowed down to a few propositions thereby highlighting the knowableness of God's thoughts, at least on orthodoxy.

I seldom resort to profanity on this site, as I think it excludes some who might otherwise read, but today I'm making an exception. This particular narrowing of the limits of orthodoxy, and this is from someone who believes in orthodoxy, is the stupidest fucking exercise in which Christians engage. If I weren't a pacifist, I'd vote for a pistol-whipping for the lot of them. God, save us.

Comments

[brooke]

Hooray for a cuss word!! It makes me a more frequent reader :) interesting blog greg, i like it!

[Robyn aka April]

Innocent blood on her hands? Don't even get me started.

It's too bad we can't pistol whip, but in lieu of ordering a good beating, you could always go back on the painkillers. Just remember this mental health technique...you can't change another person, but you sure can make yourself feel better. Between this and Toby Keith's #1 fan, it makes me want to bust out the Rx and wine cocktail and become comfortably numb. Thanks for using the f word. It is my favorite expletive.

[Kristen M]

Okay, I like that you always refer to Susan as your "hot, hairdresser wife" because it makes me happy when men say sweet things about their wives. But, to keep from being overly redundant, what about throwing in some other adjectives from time to time as well? Like, "my hot, intelligent wife" or "my stunningly beautiful, thoughtful wife"? As a writer, I think you can do better. Just a thought.
And...good post.

[greg]

Kristen,

Are you okay? The word brilliant is in there too.

[Jennifer]

I will hand it (and don't ask me what "it" is here, perhaps it is just my contempt) to this woman for her attempted intelligence. I tend to hear "real" or "good" replace the word "Orthodox".

It's still car-azy.

[Jennifer]

...at least Susan is there to be a good romodel for her.

[Kristen M]

You bastard-ass! I know you can go back and change your posts on Typepad! You read my comment and went back and changed it, didn't you? I would congratulate you for taking my excellent advise, but I don't appreciate your trying to make me look silly! ;)

[Kristen M]

I just spelled advice wrong, dammit! How's that for making me look silly?

[Travis]

Greg,

per your wife's client's list, being a Xian is all about what one believes (w/ the possible exceptions of being politically active and opposing abortion) - as a wicked liberal Xian myself, I cannot help but sigh in despair at Xianity being reduced to little more than an affirmation of this or that creed/dogma/superstition - call me crazy or heretical, but I have always thought that being a Xian was all about LIVING like Christ: loving my neighbor and my enemy, feeding the hungry, aiding the oppressed, visiting those who are sick and imprisoned, giving to the poor--you know, all that liberal/socialist Sermon on the Mount stuff that we all like to affirm but few of us like to practice

W may say he's a Xian, but dropping bombs on innocent civilians (yeah, it's a war, and civilians, including women and children, have died and are continuing to die) suggests otherwise - supporting such murder (murder? damn straight) is not in the least Xian

Jesus said something about knowing his disciples by their fruits - he said nothing about knowing them by their beliefs - damn, but Jesus was smart

[marty]

I'm going to just go ahead and echo Travis' sentiments. Fruits.
I mentioned on Scott Jones' blog that you, Greg, onc epointed out that politicians aren't practicing Christians. (Practicing.) It's becoming more and more evident to me that this is the truth. Plus it's great fun to say to people who are outraged by such things.

[Dave]

What a freakin' refreshing post and set of comments. Just as a complete generalization: I have found that my friends who are fundamentalist, evangelical, AND engineers buy into your definition of "Generous Orthodoxy" hook-line-and-sinker. I'm not sure why this is, but I have had many arguments (particularly with one inflexible "generous orthodox") where my well-founded, root-in-Catholicism dogma sent them into space in anger and disbelief that I could be so mistaken about The Word.

The intolerance is truly amazing.