the parish

I Believe...

Belief is a function of three things (at least): environment, conditioning, and choice. I'll not chase rabbits here about the postmodern condition vis-a-vis belief as a function of cognitive assent to proofs or propositions. Almost no one I know believes based on proof or proposition, despite what evangelicals, fundamentalists, and materialists say.

I was raised to be Christian. I suspect that if I'd been born in Riyadh or Beijing or Jakarta, I'd believe differently. I would have a different epistemological horizon. Even atheists are reacting to something; be it Christianity or Islam or Judaism, they are reacting against God as portrayed in some theistic construct. (Leighton, I expect you'll weigh in here as I suppose it's possible in post-Christendom that some folks are atheist without reference to theism. It even sort of makes sense.) As it is, my horizon pretty much allows for a limited number of choices. I could be Hindu, but it's difficult to embrace a polytheistic or henotheistic worldview having been raised mono. I could be Buddhist, but the idea of surrendering identity to some sort of ultimate One cuts against my Western upbringing. So I'm caught between the Scylla of Christianity and the Charybdis of atheism. (I realize there are many intermediate or alternate stages, but you'll notice the title of the post says "I" believe, so we're talking about my mind, whatever a mind is.)

I don't like polarity. I don't like being forced to choose between two opposing choices. Christian/atheist. Universalist/exclusivist. Liberal/conservative. People tend to see the moderate position within these polarities as an unwillingness to take a side. What if I want to be a Christian agnostic? An inclusivist in the tradition of Lewis's The Last Battle? A moderate theologically and politically? How is belief bolstered in either extreme? How is it affirmed? How is it negated?

I believe because I choose to believe. That's the anthropological and sociological analysis. Allow me to state a theological position that is based on a conscious choice to assert ontological priority for a reality that is rationally indefensible: I believe because God has revealed Godself to me. It's a story for another time; suffice it to say that the experience transcended emotional or psychological categories of experience. This is not to assert some sort of exclusivity for my understanding of God-ness. I believe that people can be kingdom people and be steadfast atheists. Empowering assent to propositions was, I believe, not the point of the incarnation; the point was to model a way (it was also to overcome the "powers" but that is another installment). Inasmuch as people live that way, they show themselves to be far better practical theologians than the denizens of many a suburban cracker community church.

I read Barth when I was trying to name my beliefs. It is from him that I took the idea of particular revelation, and from him that I took the framework for this series. (If you have time, read Dogmatics in Outline.) So, Barth allowed me (intellectually) to believe in revelation in the sense that belief is predicated on an act of God, without doing violence to my Wesleyan notions of (limited) free will and choice. That qualifier allows for two people to evaluate the same experiences and arrive at different conclusions--the Gospel is non-coercive (but that is for another time as well).

That's enough for the first stab at stating "what I'm for." If you know the Apostle's Creed, you'll know what the next installment is, and I won't guarantee there will not be sophomoric interruptions about Christian bookstores and hookahs and Nazarenes. The series will continue though. Grace and peace. And for those concerned, I'm not depressed.

...in the meantime...

I was in church twice Sunday. Both times I was left wondering: what is it we do here that helps make anyone a Christian? Maybe a better question, and one often left unanswered, is "why are we doing these particular things?" It all seems so pointless. It's as if we've adopted certain practices for the sake of the practices without any idea of a larger grammar that gives life or meaning to the practices. We "church" because that is what church looks like. It may be a coincidence that I've been drinking 7 Deadly Zins tonight, but I'm still left wondering if there is a point to Sunday worship service.

A worship service used to be a casual event at which friends gathered to express their gratitude and awe at a God made human, killed by sinful humans, and raised to extend "godness" to those who chose it. It has become the end toward which Christians think and live. Church is about Sunday. It is about worship styles; it is about performance; it is about sermons; it is about long-winded prayers and too much speaking. There is no awe. There is no sense of "godness." There is very little kingdom awareness. This is in a church where these things are discussed. How much worse for the churches who have never thought beyond evangelical categories? All of this has been said before. Why am I saying it now? The wine is talking. And so is a growing awareness that I can't do this much longer.

I dare myself not to believe, yet belief lingers. It's more like a virus than a conviction. The vestiges lay claim to my health and attitude, but the culture that provides support for the convictions is sorely lacking. I grant that I am a piece of the dysfunction, but I can't allow that imperfection is the best we can hope for. If hope is fixed on something so hopeless, why hope at all? If I am supposed to be some sort of epiphany for the world because I carry some sort of "spirit" with me, then the world is screwed. (and so am i) On that happy note, grace and peace because I can't help but believe.

Happy Birthday, Dear Infant Baby Jesus

Merry Christmas, all. I promised a friend I'd start a new series about what I believed. He actually said, "You should write about what you're for." Okay. I will. I think I'm going to use the Apostles Creed as a jumping-off point. Starts this week. In the meantime, God's grace to you at Christmas. And for my atheist and agnostic friends, including JJ Campbell, with whom I spent two wonderful days (love the hell out of that girl), the universe's grace to you, or whatever. Peace. Seriously. Peace.

Kiva Loans

The hot philanthropic haidresser wife and I have started giving through Kiva.org. It provides small loans to small businesses, primarily in developing nations. You may recieve 100% of your loan back. You may not. You will help an entrepreneur in a developing nation. Susan and I chose all women and we chose them in South America, Africa, and Polynesia. You can send as little as $25 dollars. You'll find a link to the right. Follow it and help the world.

Deadwood, Season One, Finale

There are no words for how brilliant the writing is in this episode. I mean it. The hot, Ian McShane-loving, hairdresser wife and I were almost speechless at the sheer genius. Profundity mixed well with profanity is a rare thing.

Goin' Toe to Toe with Jesus

Just go here first. And thanks to Michael A for sending it along.

Random observations.

• If anyone goes to see this movie, the sucker factor is far worse than I thought in this country.
• Stallone hasn't made a good movie since Cop Land, almost ten years ago. So what do you do? Trot out the old tried and true. Problem is, he's 60. Looks great, but he's 60. I'm 42 and I couldn't fight a three-round fight with a flyweight half my age. The joints and bones just won't allow it anymore. So I'm supposed to believe a 60-year old can go toe to toe with the heavyweight champ? Yeah.
• If you like this idea, the new Rambo film will be out in '08. No, I'm not kidding.
• They're selling the Rocky box to churches because, according to Catholic Digest, the film is loaded with Christian values. It gets better. Check out the endorsements:

"The whole Christian faith has to do with the heart, and I think the 'heart' message was the key ingredient in this film." Bob Cavinder, Crystal Cathedral

Ah, yes. The heart. The whole Christian faith has to do with the heart. Not the body. Not the brain. Not relationships. Because ethics and intelligence aren't important—only the heart. And what is the heart? Who knows? It's about as identifiable as the soul. Nice to see that the silliness hasn't stopped at the Crystal Cathedral after the founder retired. One more:

"People are very interested in characters who embody the characteristics of the Gospel and the characteristics of Jesus Christ... it was fascinating that there were explicit references in Rocky Balboa." Peter Malone, CIGNUS

First, I googled Mr. Malone in conjunction with CIGNUS. Guess what came up? Yeah, the page I linked to. That's it. So who is the gentleman that he warrants a mention on the endorsements page? Well, for starters, he believes the characteristics of Jesus Christ include pugilistic ability. You know, Jesus as sparring partner, or maybe the guy that whips your ass. Other than that, I don't know who he is, nor do I know what the Gospel or Jesus has to do with boxing or a retired boxer coming back to fight an exhibition match.

What this does have to do with is the movie industry testing the gullibility of American Christians. "Let's see if we can get them to buy this one as a Christian movie..." And, of course, many folks will because they really believe one of two things: 1) if you call it Christian or mention the Christian faith, it is Christian, or at least Christianized (this does not apply to the lunatics at Slice of Laodicea); and, 2) many Christians believe Jesus would be a boxer or a gladiator or a soldier or any other violent thing because they already believe in a violent God or they've read a very bad book by John Eldredge. They also believe the Gospel is about values like hard work, consumerism, self-reliance (except for that sin thing and the cross and whatnot), family, overcoming obstacles (those silly martyrs, what were they thinking), and God wanting me to succeed.

I know; I haven't seen the movie, but I believe I know two things for sure: Rocky doesn't win and neither does anyone who pays to see it.

A Boring Public Service Announcement

The Pew Foundation or Trust or Forum or some such descriptor has completed a study of bloggers. Two things to note: 1. the sample is only 223 bloggers out of millions; 2. only two percent of bloggers listed religion or spirituality as their main topic. The finished document is 33 pages in .pdf format. Not interested enough to read all of it, but there are some worthwhile bits. Hard to take it seriously with the small sample size though.

If You Don't Change You're Dead...in a stinking hell-hole of sin and putrefecation...

Funniest thing I've seen in a while. Thanks to our jazz bassist friend for sending it along.

Three Things You Need to Know

Watching Deadwood on DVD. It might be the best series I've ever seen. Ian McShane is a genius, and so are the writers. Robin Weigert as Calamity Jane is a revelation. Watch this series!

Mindy Smith. "Come to Jesus" hooked me. Her voice makes me want to be a good person.

Skyy Vanilla and capuccino tobacco make the perfect hookah. Enjoy.

Happy Advent. And for those churches who are actually preaching from Baruch this Sunday, God bless.

Green Acres is the Place to be...

Well, the world-wide web is finally available to me at home again. High-speed, satellite service was installed this morning. Just in time too. Leighton sent me this, which includes the awesome line: "Another good thing about the Rapture is that it will take you away from disastrous, buggy games like Left Behind: Eternal Forces."

The fundies seem to have relaxed, as predicted by Brandon. Except T.J., and you're still welcome here, T.J. But tone down the anger a bit. We can't help it if we're profligates. God made us this way. Just ask any Calvinist you meet. Including the one who posted in a comment recently that he was a five-point "Calvanist." Gee, you'd be so much more convincing if you knew that ArminiAn, WesleyAn, and CalvAnist weren't a set. Good luck on the GRE or LSAT or whichever exam you have to take. And don't forget 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13...(shhh, it's a fibonacci thing).

The Nazarenes have calmed down a bit too. I responded to a couple emails on the kaleo site today reassuring concerned Nazarenes that I was, in fact, not a pastor at any official Nazarene church. I'm not kidding. I had four emails at the kaleo address asking about this drunken, hookah-smoking, drug-ingesting, foul-mouthed Nazarene. He sounds like a menace to all holiness people. If you have a minute, pray for his sanctification.