I offended a friend today. I posted a new status on Facebook after reading a story about Christians giving up Facebook for Lent. Here is what the status said: "Greg is sure that 40 days of no facebook is not equal to carrying a cross up a hill and then being nailed to it. Go Christians!" I admit it's not really nice, but I do think it's funny for a variety of reasons, which I will elaborate on shortly. My friend texted me almost right away and told me to "give up the anti Christian crap." I replied that my status was not anti-Christian; rather, it is anti silly Lent ideas. Turns out she is one of the Christians giving up Facebook for 40 days.
She was offended because she believes Facebook has become an "addiction" in her life. I'm sure many other Christians feel that way as well. She also said she didn't understand why I cared because I'm not a Christian anymore. And lastly she said I'm not the Holy Spirit (decidedly true). Let me address those individually, because I'm pretty sure there are people who agree with her.
If something is an addiction in your life, you may not want to wait 'til the observation of a particular holiday, holy day, or festival to take care of it. Today might be better. Additionally, the idea that giving up an addiction is a Lenten discipline is absurd. Lenten disciplines are supposed to help the believer reflect on the Passion of Jesus, and his subsequent death. Jesus was not sweating off a high, kicking alcohol, dieting, refraining from masturbating, or overcoming obsessive use of social networking sites; he was being tortured and killed as an innocent man. Lenten disciplines are supposed to be about giving up things we love that are not harmful to us. That makes sense, right? (Not that masturbating is harmful—chafing maybe.)
I really don't care anymore. I just thought it was funny that thousands, perhaps millions, of Christians are giving up Facebook for Lent. Facebook. There is a deep and wondrous irony in all those people not realizing how much that cheapens the very thing about which they are supposed to be reflecting. I will always mock defects in ironic comprehension without regard to religious or political affiliation. The irony extends to the idea in the previous paragraph that Lent is a good time to sacrifice our addictions. Wow.
No, I am not the Holy Spirit. My point was to mock something worthy of being mocked, not to confront Christians so that they will give up Starbucks or molesting children instead. Although, the latter is a good idea, and now that Starbucks is intent on convincing us that instant coffee is good...well. I also scratched my head over the overwhelmingly ridiculous idea that the Holy Spirit of God spoke to an individual and said, "My child, give up Facebook for Lent." In the great tradition of Abraham, she should have said, "Lord, can I still check my MySpace if there be ten righteous Christians logged on?" The level of narcissism is staggering, as is the inability of evangelicals to understand why we of no faith think they're being absurd when they do shit like this. It's as if there are times when those of us outside the camp understand something good and true about their faith that they seem oblivious to, and primarily because their faith practice has become so fuckin' therapeutic that they don't understand that they're using the concept of God as some sort of psychological sex toy. (I was going to say "jack off sleeve" but that seemed irreverent and a bit over the top.)
Dear Christians, no, I don't care what you give up for Lent. But if it's so absurd that it makes a sour old skeptic like me raise an eyebrow, I am gonna mock you for it. That seems fair, and I promise not to get my feelings hurt when you mock me. Peace.
