pepper spray

What I Love About Sundays

I love Sundays. After sleeping late I help Greg make breakfast, usually biscuits and gravy, and spend the rest of the day doing very little. Sometimes I read or draw, sometimes I work in the flower gardens, sometimes I nap. I usually don't have to do a single undesirable thing.

I no longer feel guilty about not attending church. At first I did and then I began realizing the benefits of rest and time spent with my family. Greg, Kylie and I spend hours together talking, watching TV, cooking, gardening, etc. We aren't tired and cranky from going non-stop. I like us better this way.

On the down side I miss some of the friends we saw on Sundays at church. I don't miss getting up early though.

A First

Tonight I skipped my art class because I was too drunk to drive. I have never in my life ditched a class of any kind except for maybe Sunday School and it wasn't because I was drunk. I wish it was because that would be a great story. I will make up the class tomorrow night only because it is the last class and I would feel like a total failure otherwise and I need to ask my teacher about perspective. I need to gain perspective- heehee.

I have thoroughly enjoyed Drawing I and will enroll for Drawing II this summer. It has been a wonderful distraction, however not as good a distraction as the margarita I enjoyed tonight. I will scan some of my drawings soon to share with you.

Ps. I will take just a moment to brag. My 13 year old was awarded Outstanding Vocalist of the Year at the school awards assembly yesterday. She sang her first solo as well. I am so very pleased for her and yes a little proud too.

Mother's Day 08

Ever since I can remember my daughter and I have had a special Mother's Day tradition. We work in the yard together planting flowers, drinking tea and listening to music. I let her choose the flowers (usually pink and purple) and music (usually pop and top 40) and we plant them together. She has become quite good at this and really likes it. I don't want to go out to lunch with the masses and I don't want her to spend her money or mine on gifts. I just want to spend the day with my daughter.

This year we will continue the tradition. She already asked me what kind of flowers we are planting. I really don't care, it's the planting that matters. The planting and time spent is what really matters to me.

I remember clearly our Mother's Days together. The first time we did this she was an infant and I put her in a play pen outside while I planted flowers. She wasn't that interested in the flowers but she loved being outside. When she was two she wanted to get her hands dirty and play with the containers. A couple years ago she became quite opinionated about the colors and placement of the flowers. Now she is stronger than me and really doesn't need my help at all but that isn't the point.

I hope when I'm an old lady we still continue this tradition. I see myself at her daughter's home sitting on the porch drinking tea while they plant flowers together (I vow now to not complain about the music). I've always known that one day Mother's Day will cease to be about me and become about her but this is the first time that I've considered that it will one day be about her daughter.

Wow now I'm sad. I gotta go fix myself a drink. I have a long day of planting and bonding ahead of me.

Proud Mom of a Brand New Teen-Ager

13 yes 13 years old. My daughter just turned 13. I've been dreading this since she was born or maybe even before that. You hear horror stories about parenting teen-agers. I guess short of ending their lives early on teen-age hood is unavoidable though. So far, 2 days now, it's going ok. No tantrums or pregnancy. A little angst however.

This could get interesting so I will try to keep you updated. That is if I'm not bailing her out of juvey or running back and forth to rehab.

In other news, I'm still enjoying my drawing class.

I ain't no Davinci or nothin' but I got mad skills.

And Then There Were Flowers

Tulips, Hyacinth, Allium, Mucari and more. Last fall we planted spring flowers. We worked our asses off in the cold weather and planted bulbs. I drew out a pattern on notebook paper that still lies on the garage floor.

All winter I complained about freezing to death and sat around the house wrapped in an old quilt. I parked in the garage and walked in the back door. I didn't step outside except in extreme cases. The hope of bright flowers didn't console me.

Now the flowers are bursting forth in a beautiful display of color. We all take solace in them. It feels like a painless birth, a beautiful labor of love. Orange, yellow, red, purple and blue. The dark dark purple Queen of Night tulips have yet to bloom but we wait anxiously as if awaiting the arrival of a prince.

Next... summer bulbs. A much shorter jestation period and much less painful conception. Come June my yard will be bright and fragrant. Another beautiful birth.

Soon I will begin a small memory garden for my mema. A redbud tree, tulips, roses, lillies, and a sitting area. I will write and draw and photograph in this place. I will remember. I will remember.

To Boob or Not To Boob?

A client of mine related this analogy today.
She's going to to get a boob job and her husband was questioning her motives.

She said, " Say you have this penis and you like it. You like the size and shape and the way it looks and feels. Well after a couple kids your penis shrinks and shrivels and the whole world can see it. If you had the option of getting it repaired for a couple K, wouldn't you do it?"

What do you think?

Artsy Fartsy Cont.

I can draw. Who knew? The long-haired hippie type instructor is A-mazing. He could teach a monkey to draw. Our first lesson was to turn a flat triangle into a 3-D-ish cone thingie. I did good. I brought it home and immediately attached it to our fridge.

Greg and Kylie were very proud and affirmed my nascent art skills.

I really like this class and as an added bonus we meet in the orthotics/prosthetics lab - random arms and legs everywhere.

I strongly recommend Francis Tuttle. Nice facility and nice people.

"I am a star. I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star. I am a big, bright, shining star. That's right." Anyone?

Artsy Fartsy

I'm very excited. Tomorrow night is my first ever drawing class. I've always wanted to be an artist but much to my dismay I suck. When I was a kid I always entered the TV Guide drawing contest by drawing Tippy the Turtle. I guess my skills were so bad that even those scam artists ignored me. No more my friends. My future is bright. I will impress you with my artistic abilities. I will spend the next 6 Tuesday nights learning to draw. And if I like it I will spend 6 more weeks honing my nascent skills. After that I intend to take a photography class and then maybe a culinary class. I'm crazy here. Nothing can stop me.

Stand by for art.

I'm Back and I Love Toby Keith's Bar and Grill

I feel like I need to apologize for not blogging in a while. I'm not sure why I feel that way. It's not like we have a reciprocal relationship and the blog world has been providing me with a service. But still I apologize.

The past month has been atrocious. I won't go into detail. I'm not sure if I will ever be able to. For now suffice it to say the last month has been atrocious.

A bright spot was a visit to Toby Keith's I Love This Bar and Grill. Greg hates Toby Keith because he thinks Toby is a M F-ing self absorbed red-neck. Be that as it may, he has hooked up with the Charleston's group to make a damn good restaurant.

My sister Sam and her husband came to town for a visit and wanted to try Toby's. Kylie and I went along with much complaining from Kylie. She seems to buy into Greg's world view where this particular red neck is concerned. I'm not a big fan but I like good food and was up for something new.

I took Sam's credit card to the bar and made some new friends. People are crazy. They will tell you anything and apparently show you anything. I ordered a Cabo Wabo Margarita, which is blue and beautiful and enticing. The two couples at the bar were intrigued so I let them try it, the margarita. I wasn't that drunk yet. Within a few minutes my generosity was reciprocated. I had a plate of chicken, two bites of ribeye, ribs, corn, okra and buttermilk pie. I was full by the time we were sat.

I don't remember now how it got started but a fifty-year-old woman flashed me her boobs. I did not reciprocate. She had a nice bra and a really bad perm and 80's bangs. Bad Bad Bad.

The food was incredible. I had tastes of ten types of food including calf fries and I would do it all again.

I now have two new goals. One-get Greg to Toby's and Two-obtain a sequin saddle like the one hanging from the ceiling at Toby's.

Separation Anxiety

My only child was born nearly 13 years ago. It took me about three years to conceive her. Well that isn't true exactly. It took only about three minutes but we had been trying for three years (3 surgeries and fertility meds). I nursed her for nine months, taking breaks from work to go to her sitter's house (I couldn't pump). She has been strong-willed since about six months with a stint of defiance through the toddler years. We over came that with prayer, counseling, anti-depressants, and spanking. But not once has she shown strong signs of separation anxiety.

Before she was one she'd cry when she had to leave her friends at the sitter's house. The first day of kindergarten she showed mild concern that I was going to leave her with strangers but told me that it was ok for me to leave. She began asking to stay home by herself when she was nine and began babysitting other kids at ten. Always mature and self sufficient she cooks for herself, does her own laundry, sets an alarm and keeps up with scheduled events.

Recently I've noticed that she's been spending more time at school events and with friends. She keeps her bedroom door closed and she's on the phone a lot. I should be used to her independence but I'm not. I like that she is responsible and self secure but I want her to need me, to want me.

I understand that all typical kids go through the individualization stage and that is normal and good. So why am I so sad? I miss her.

At 3pm yesterday she texted me and asked if she could 'go the B-Ball game & BTW I gonna need $.' We have a policy that if she isn't grounded and has her chores and homework done that she can pretty do anything she wants. The only reason she's been grounded in a very long time is low grades and she finally realized that it behooves her to keep them up. So I had no good reason to say no. There is another B-Ball game tonight.

I've come to the realization that this is going to get worse not better but I hadn't actually accepted it until last night. Greg and I were at dinner, without Kylie, and it struck me. This is the way it's going to be. More than ever I'm glad I like him. What do people do when they've spent all their energy raising kids and find out that they don't like each other any more?

Greg and I have a lot of fun just being together and I'm ever so grateful for him. I urge anyone who is raising kids right now to spend as much time as you possibly can focusing on your relationship with your spouse. One day very soon you will need them more than ever.