Publisher's Weekly announced this week that the CBA (Christian Booksellers Association) is beginning a television advertising campaign. Bill Anderson, the president of CBA, said "We want to elevate the awareness of our products, our stores and our business." How do you suppose you do that, dear reader? Before I give you the answer, ask yourself what you would do if you wanted customers to know about your store and spend money in your store. Also, think about NEW customers.
CBA already has "five new ads running on the 700 Club and CBN affiliates..." That's the Christian Broadcasting Network, just in case you don't watch that sort of drivel. Okay, point of issue number one: what are the odds that someone watching a CBN program or CBN affiliate is unaware of a Christian bookstore within driving distance? I'm thinking this is their core customer base.
"Each 30-second spot features a different major book or music release, such as Glorious Appearing..." Yeah, that might be a problem. Maybe you want to feature good books. Oh, wait, these ads run during the 700 Club. Never mind.
I love this part: "The ads encourage viewers to buy the products at CBA stores, describing them with phrases such as 'a pharmacy for life...'" Where do I start? If CBA bookstores and the Christian publishing business wouldn't spend the vast majority of their marketing dollars on twenty crappy titles a year, their business would be less vulnerable to Sam's, Wal-Mart, Costco, and other discount chains. The point of the ad campaign is to get people to buy Glorious Appearing at a CBA bookstore instead of Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Wal-Mart, and especially Sam's, can offer the book at a reduced cost because they buy thousands of copies. Here's an idea: focus on providing quality books in your backlist and spread the marketing dollars to books besides The Prayer of Jabez, Left Behind, and Purpose Driven Whatever. I'm afraid this is a case of "you've made your bed..."
"Pharmacy for life?" Are you kidding me? Come buy our crap at the pharmacy for life! Come learn how the world is going to end (not really, but smut sells). Come learn the formula for Christianity. Come buy a book that proves the Resurrection. Come buy a CD that can't get airtime on a real radio station. Come buy a figurine made by an incarcerated Chinese Christian. Come buy a pack of breath mints that feature a Bible verse on the wrapper so you can have fresh breath and the path to everlasting life concurrently. Come see our vast collection of prints not actually painted by Kincaide. Come buy a tee shirt with knock-off art we stole from a secular business. Come buy books for your poor, atrophied children that you home school so they never meet a normal human.
Somebody kill me. Here's an advertising angle for the CBA. "We don't believe all that talk about Jesus and Mammon, and neither should you. Kitsch is salvation! Come buy our crap!"
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