Cary Elwes!!! We just watched Saw. Run like hell from this movie. I'm so glad I didn't pay to see it in the theater. Some friends and I had heard it was "kinda like Seven." Uhm...yeah...they both featured elaborate murders...uhm...both had a black detective....uhm...both had a blonde actress as a wife...and that's about it. Oh, they were both movies.
I know some of you are partial to The Princess Bride, and while I liked the movie, I thought Elwes's acting was the weak point of the picture. It was Oscar-worthy compared to this piece of crap. Hey, Cary, when we need a good cardboard cut-out to play Keanu Reeves in the movie about his life, we'll call you. And the make-up...ugh. Near the end he looks like a geisha on a three-day heroin binge. Danny Glover has hit rock bottom when he picks this vehicle. And what was Monica Potter thinking? She's not a great actress, but her role on Boston Legal has helped her career, especially after Along Came a Spider. Nice segue here: speaking of bad plots... *Spoiler* If I'm laying in the middle of a cold, tile floor for eight hours, at some point I'm gonna have to wee-wee, and someone else in the room might notice. And how do you maintain your position for eight hours? On a tile floor? Without moving? That's the least of this film's problems though. And the elaborate death machines. Oh my God. I'm in a metal band video...
The writer is fairly new. Guy named James Wan. He has one other writing credit. A film called Stygian in 2000. He put a little nod to himself in this one. The evil warehouse was on Stygian Street. Watch for it! Dear James, if you're going to put cute, self-referential, ego-stroking gimmicks in a movie, it helps if someone gets the reference without stumbling on it on IMDB quite by accident. That means more than nine people needed to see your previous movie. He co-wrote the thing with Leigh Whannell, the guy who plays Adam in the film. They met in film school. How lovely. Maybe they should have paid attention in class and put the weed down 'til after study hall. Seriously, this may be the worst movie I've seen in years, but I haven't seen Phantom of the Opera yet (and I never will!).
you guys should rent Visitor Q for film night one time, greg. the japanese film industry knows what's going on. (just another irrelevant comment) .......
Posted by: nick | February 20, 2005 at 04:53 PM
Phantom of the Opera isn't as bad as you think. Trust me, see it while they have at Harkins on the 70 foot 257 speaker theatre and I promise you will like. They have a scot playing the Phantom!
Posted by: Joe Kendrick | February 20, 2005 at 11:29 PM
Man, if you don´t know what Stygian mean, you seriusly need a revision of your clasical mytologhy knowledges.
Other thing, shoot a movie in 18 days with no money, upgrade it from video club direct release until a movie people end seeing in any cinema around the world, and get a lot of people go to see the movie.
How tarantino has said:
Film is money, and money are big butts sitting in a cinema hall.
I have heard we will have another Fives movies about saw, so i hope you have stomach for it.
Oh, yeah, and my english is horrible, I know, but i´m sure you are enough smart to understand what I´m saying.
Goodbye!
Posted by: Lucero_del_alba | May 01, 2005 at 06:56 PM
man, people visiting old posts choose to get angry about the strangest things.
then again, at least you're not being prayed over about osteen. that's refreshing, i guess.
Posted by: zalm | May 01, 2005 at 08:27 PM
lucero,
thanks for the lesson. I guess that means Home Alone is one of the greatest films of all time.
Posted by: greg | May 01, 2005 at 09:14 PM