Last night KWTV-9 (our local CBS affiliate which also has a partnership with the worst newspaper in America, the Daily Oklahoman) ran a looooonnnngggg segment on Lifechurch.tv's new internet campus during the ten o'clock news. (Yes, in OK that passes for news.) The piece pretended to be real journalism by asking tough questions like, "Can a person really go to church by logging onto their computer?" No one asked, "What does it do to the identity of the church to so fragment the Body of Christ that individuals can 'log-on' to church and never be troubled by other messy folk?" Of course, the standard Jesus answer to everything was that people are gonna get saved. I would consider it a favor if someone would purge that word from the evangelical lexicon until someone else actually establishes what it means. After this puff piece on innovative evangelism (yes, that's bile in the back of my throat...), I was ill-prepared for tonight.
KFOR-4 (our local NBC affiliate which has a partnership with Beelzebub, apparently) ran a story on a Tulsa pastor and RTD's on the ten o'clock news. RTD's? What are those, you ask. Well, they are religiously transmitted diseases. Things like "affluenza": the belief that blessing entails a Jaguar or Cadillac. The piece went on forever and finished with Linda "I'll whore myself for Jesus anyday" Cavanaugh telling us to log onto the KFOR web site to take a test to determine if we have any RTD's.
I have a few, Linda. EAS: evangelical aversion syndrome; emajitis: an affiliction brought on by exposure to evangelism masquerading as journalism; and finally, PLJCBSIDHTLIOOMD (hard to pronounce I know): please, Lord Jesus, come back so I don't have to live in Oklahoma one more day.
I missed the RTD segment, but did catch the update on Brad Edwards, the consumer reporter who's been in a coma the last few days. He's been an institution on OKC TV for as long as I can remember, and my prayers go out for him and his entire family.
Posted by: JK | May 12, 2006 at 12:04 AM
PLJCBSIDHTLIOOMD? Wow. What color ribbon do we wear for that?
Posted by: zalm | May 12, 2006 at 04:47 AM
We could all wear rubber bracelets that say "retch"...
Posted by: jamie | May 12, 2006 at 07:42 AM
Emerging from lurkdom to say this is why I can't watch the news on the local affiliates. . .
Posted by: Emily | May 12, 2006 at 08:04 AM
Emerging from lurkdom myself to ask if Greg's problem is with the content of the "news story" itself, or the fact that in Oklahoma, the local news does a feature on something "religion"-related, etc.
Posted by: Jay | May 12, 2006 at 08:32 AM
Greg, I watched the KFOR story. It was a lot like watching the 700 Club or CBN News. During the "story" I turned to my wife and said, "Only in Oklahoma is this news."
Posted by: Dr. Mike Kear | May 12, 2006 at 09:22 AM
Okay...I need a little clarification on this whole RTD thing. Was that portrayed as a good thing? It sounds positively wretched, but it sounds like they were saying that 'affluenza' is the most wonderful thing ever and is in no way antithetical to Jesus' concern for the poor.
Posted by: Jeff | May 12, 2006 at 09:22 AM
I flipped past the local Fox affiliate the other day to catch a "news" piece on some local Christian singer. She talked about using her good looks and voice to communicate modesty to young girls, to show them how to be one of "god's girls." Then the voice over said (or close) "She just continues to grow in her relationship with God. . . "
Evidently that is something that our "journalists" can ascertain.
Posted by: Streak | May 12, 2006 at 09:26 AM
I don't mind religion-related news so long as it's news and not advertising or PR. Both these pieces were advertising bits for the churches involved.
The RTD's were portrayed as negative.
Posted by: greg | May 12, 2006 at 09:30 AM
My favorite is the "Is this a Great State or What" segments. Ole' Clyde Higgins down in Poteau, Oklahoma paints mailboxes like they're mallard ducks. Let's do a ten minute spot about it. What great, thought provoking, effective journalism.
Posted by: Alex | May 12, 2006 at 10:08 AM
I saw the commercial for that RTD story, but forgot to watch. It did get me thinking that if people could have religious diseases what would they be.... Two I liked.
1. Religious bulimea (sp)- Starve all week. Then gorge on Sunday. You could add the throw up one too.
2. Split religiousallity - Be like a christian buddist, or Mormon Muslim. Could also be someone just picking from different versions of same faith.
Oh one last one.
3. Amnesia - Be a Calvinist that was "saved" when the were little. Then recommeted to that salvation later. Just forgot about God in between, but they were "good to go" all along. Right.
If you are Calvinist, feel free to rip on prefered theology. If you know it.
Posted by: Kalel | May 12, 2006 at 11:11 AM
"2. Split religiousallity - Be like a christian buddist, or Mormon Muslim. Could also be someone just picking from different versions of same faith.
Oh one last one."
I like this one.
Posted by: Jay | May 12, 2006 at 11:13 AM
One of my favorite undergrad professors is a Christian Buddhist, but he's CofC (all praxis and very little doctrine) so it sort of works. It would be pretty strained in a more creedal flavor of Christianity.
Posted by: Leighton | May 12, 2006 at 01:42 PM
Greg,
All you have to do is drive south until you get to the Red River. They built a bridge there several years ago on which you can now cross the great chasm and enter into the promise land. It's a land flowing with gravy and cold beer. There are no tears, no hunger, no pain. The Lion plays with the lamb. We have turned our swords into plowshares. Amen.
Dallas (,Texas) Tim
Posted by: Dallas Tim | May 13, 2006 at 09:37 AM