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April 19, 2007



On July 4th I always want to ask the congregation to come down and bow before the American flag in prayer. Sadly I don't think many people would have a problem.
I also thought that it would be funny to preach using a gnostic text (just say "scripture says" and not give a reference, and see if anyone catches it. Given the dualism that we Christians tend to, I'm not sure if I would be found out.
By the way, I'm a long time lurker and a friend of April and Josh. Peace.


I had a professor in college who made the following statement and he was completely serious, "You know guys it is ok to maturbate...as long as you don't think about anything or anyone."

So a few observations from that: 1. We all thought it was hilarious and still do. 2. I don't believe that it is possible and 3. It completely defeats the purpose of self love.

So go ahead and tell your youth group, "hey kids go ahead and gratify yourself, but so help me if you think about anyone when you do it...well then that's just sin...oh yeah and you will go blind too."


#3 reminds me of a time I brought my girlfriend from college home. We went to my parent's extremely midwestern fundy church. It was "Sadie Hawkins" day. They let the women choose the hymns and special music. Then the pastor preached the most degrading sermon I have ever heard about women, managing in 45 minutes to cover ever misogynist passage in the Bible and even add his own uniquely creepy misogynist spin.

Needless to say, said girlfriend didn't speak to me for about a week.


I've always wanted to do something with Proverbs 31:6-7.


How 'bout doing some selected readings from Revelation. Maybe throw in some Ezekiel and Daniel for good measure. And tell everyone in your white-bread church that George Bush is the antichrist.


Oh yeah here are two more, I just love the sober memories of life at a Pentecostal Christian University.

During a men's thursday night bible study the gentleman leading that nights study makes the following statement, "Guys you have to have balls to serve Jesus." I am assuming he meant that in the figurative sense.

Finally during the annual "Revival Week" one of the speakers began to use the word, "Spooge". He was using the word and he had never heard of it before. Someone in the congregation yelled out he should use the word so he did.

I leaned over and asked a friend of mine who I grew up with, "Does that mean something different here in the South?" He responded, "Man I hope so...." Apparently it means the same thing in the north as it does in the south.



GW isn't the anti-christ. Celin Deion is.


Z said, "And tell everyone in your white-bread church that George Bush is the antichrist" ???

Please define "white-bread."


Rev. Mike,

It's similar to cracker-ass, only less offensive.


Hatred, racial slurs, bigotry....hmmmm

That sure looks like Christ and the church doesn't it....


Mike, I'm not even going to take the bait on that one. You don't know what the hell you're talking about.



You chose to use the words. It wasn't a week or so ago Don Imus chose to use some racially charged words as well. Whether in a comical usage (which was his excuse) or not, the very choice of them reveals much.

big·ot (bĭg'ət) n. One who is strongly partial to one's own group, religion, race, or politics and is intolerant of those who differ.


Rev. Mike,

This would be such a meaningful point if we weren't critiquing our own group. Z and I are both crackers. We've both been part of suburban cracker community churches. So, I think we get to talk about them. Why don't you find something more substantive to argue about and stop trolling?

Dallas Tim

Are you a nappy-headed cracker?


The color of your skin makes no matter in the issue. Racial epithets have no place in the culture and quite honestly, I'm not surprised at the reaction from Greg or Z in the issue.

And bigotry isn't exclusive to racial issues. Political and religious bigotry happens here on quite a regular basis. Again, it doesn't shock me, it just has no place in the culture.

When saving face, and covering your ass becomes more important, then a fresh look in the mirror, well, you get the response like presented above.

Same rocky path, same over travelled road, same hardened heart. No signposts, no real change. SSDD


nor am I surprised at your exhausting sermonizing


I'm sad that people are SO upset about a racist losing his job that they have to make up stupid arguments to try to defend his racism.

Seriously, why the fuck is Imus worth defending? Why are people bending over backwards to defend him with crap arguments about how Sharpton and Jackson suck so much and how it isn't OK to refer to yourself using racially charged terms?

And for what it's worth, the only group of white males who are racially discriminated against are from the south. No one has ever cared about the term cracker or found it offensive that I know of in my lifetime.

Feeding the trolls, I know, but the amount of stupidity surrounding the Imus thing really irks me.


(Maybe that rant was... about something totally irrelevant.)

dr dobson

His Emmenancy Most High Reverend Mike:

I think you have your semantics way off: "white-bred" would be alluding to race; "white bread" is referring to something similar to "meat and potatoes", i.e. vanilla, i.e. plain, i.e. as simple as any idiot could figure out.

You have once again read a meaning into simple text that never was there in the first place.

Z simply said, "tell everyone in your [vanilla/meat-and-potatoes] congregation, . . .", meaning "get them to think outside of their self-imposed level of misunderstanding".

Even if your assertion is correct that such statement is racially-motivated, it does not apply to what Z said--it is a fact that most, if not all of us attend churches populated by white people. To state such a fact is not racist, you moron, it is demographically correct.

You have argued that he who states, when peering out over a field of parked cars, that there are "a lot of cars out there" is anti-motorcycle. That's the most stupid line of logic I've ever heard. It must require that kind of logic to believe that God wanted to kill Jesus just so we could be "saved."

Loosen your mitre, padre. It's preventing your understanding of even the most simple of semiotics.


Your diatribe only goes to prove my point Dob.



Somehow everything we say proves some obscure point you've made. I've stopped trying to understand your "points." It all sounds like mini-sermons to me.



Willful blindness must be bliss. How convenient.


How is willful stupidity working out for you? Is it convenient?



You've now reached the point at which I ask, why are you here? I don't mind that you are, but I'm always perplexed about why people like you hang out on these blogs. You're not going to convert anyone. Most regular readers recognize you're full of shit, so why stay?


Moron? Stupid? Full of shit? Hmmmmmm

You folks sound like a wonderful picture of Jesus!

dr dobson

Yes, Mike. You have left no table unturned within our temple, now go and heal the blind dude out by the gate--and don't let it hit you on the way out, please. But, for the sake of the kingdom, please don't heal any deaf people, lest they be forced to hear your wisdom.


Didn't Jesus cuss out the Pharisses? Something like Sons of Vipers which in today's language is like calling them Sons of Bitches?

Dallas Tim


No it isn't.

The idea of "cursing" as it's understood today is a far cry from the Biblical idea of cursing.

To "curse" Biblically speaking was to pronounce judgement or punishment because of bad behavior. The judges and prophets were seen as extentions of God's judgement and could pronounce curses of those who trangressed God's law.

Today we use the word "curse" (or as you spelled "cuss") to simply refer to an expletive term or "foul" word. "Shit" is not a curse word, Biblically speaking. Technically, neither is the F-word.

If I said "May God kill your whole family for what you did", now that would be a curse. It doesn't mean God would do anything to you, but that was why arbitrarily "cursing" was prohibited because it assumed that the one placing the curse was speaking for God and that was a big no-no.

Terms like "shit" or the F-word may been seen as bad because Paul speaks about our using "course" language making us look as if we haven't let our claim to be followers of Jesus do much to alter one of the most (as James also says) basic thing we do - i.e. our speech.

Jesus was NOT resorting to banal, mindless, verbal harrassment akin to the term you mentioned. He was making clear that the very men who were claiming to have the truth were actually (as he repeats in John 8) simply children/pawns of the father of lies himself, the devil (who was likened to a snake,serpent,viper,etc...)

Jesus never "cursed anyone out." He did however, pronounced righteouss judgement on those like the Pharisees who were tools of evil and who were leading arrogantly misleading those who they were supposed to caring for.

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