I'm still licensed to marry people in Oklahoma. Hard to believe, but the license never expires. Doesn't matter what you believe, you can still marry and bury. Two of the hhdw's clients asked her a few months ago if I would officiate their wedding. I told her to tell them, "I don't do God-talk." They said they didn't want a religious ceremony; they aren't believers. They are a great young couple. We had them over for dinner, drinks, and hookah to discuss the details. They were as low maintenance as I could have hoped for. Special music? Nope. Just a friend playing acoustic guitar with a small amp. Church? Nope. The rotunda of the state capitol. Unity candle? Nope. Any extras? Nope. Just get us married and get us to the reception: open bar at Maker's Cigar/Jazz Lounge. Perfect.
The wedding was 6/7/08. It took exactly 14 minutes, including the processional and recessional. I've never received more compliments on a wedding from men. Usually women will tell me how lovely it was. The women were pretty complimentary, but the men were like, "That is the best wedding I've ever attended!" It was such a relaxed, casual, fun event. I included a charge to the witnesses to be genuine community, as well as charges to the bride and groom to seek the other's happiness. All the language that makes marriage really work can be done without the God-talk. It's not like She's providing a handbook or verbal messages, after all. The family got the pomp and circumstance, including six bridesmaids and groomsmen, beautiful flowers, a fantastic setting, and tons of friends and distant relatives. The bride and groom made their families happy without stressing out overmuch. And the party afterwards was amazing. The officiant had something in the neighborhood of a bottle and a half of wine.
I'm officially taking appointments for future secular weddings.
That sounds marvelous
Posted by: JonXlin | June 17, 2008 at 09:11 PM
Hey, do you have a transcript or some notes or something? I am doing a "secular" wedding this fall and don't know where to start without going into all the God stuff. Any help is appreciated.
Posted by: micah McCarty | June 18, 2008 at 03:30 PM
Hey Greg,
Long time no comment, but I'm still a regular reader. Interesting that you pulled off a secular wedding recently...and that it still felt genuine and love-filled. Aaron and I are continually reevaluating our marriage without the backdrop of church and Christianity. That's really what brought us together, so now we're faced with the exciting challenge of staying devoted without the messy God-glue.
Posted by: kristen c | June 18, 2008 at 11:25 PM
So, I greatly enjoyed the wedding as well. And no, I'm not avoiding your phone calls. I am just the world's worst at returning phone calls. Something about having to be on the phone with people who's lives are all fucked up and need legal advice all day keeps me off the phone in the off-hours. Nonetheless, you did a great job and it was good to finally get to meet the man behind the blog...
Posted by: Aaron | June 19, 2008 at 08:47 PM
thanks for sharing this kind wedding
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