Rachel Held Evans, who formerly appeared as part of a Sookie Stackhouse analogy I used once upon a time called "Why Sookie Stackhouse Out to Bang a Werewolf," is back acting as the conscience of sensible evangelicals, a role I sincerely appreciate. This time, she's called out he-man woman hater, Mark Driscoll, who is, according to this picture, not even close to as hot as Sookie's favorite werewolf, Alcide Herveaux.
In fact, following the analogy from that long-ago werewolf sex post, Driscoll is far more like Ken Ham than he is the werewolf savior of the evangelical church. If you never read it, Evans and Ham had a kerfuffle over evolution and creation. I suggested that Evans was trying to convince Sookie (outsiders or weary believers) to stop banging vampires (dead ends in church paradigms and Christian ethics) and begin banging a werewolf (something alive, and a hybrid of two forms). Driscoll doesn't really work as a werewolf, even though he's animated a segment of the Christian church—the douchey segment who likes nearly everything my redneck neighbors like plus John Calvin. Driscoll is the theological equivalent of a Nickelback song, and I wouldn't be surprised to hear he likes the band. That Nickelback writes and performs Dick Rock should not be lost on you. (And when I re-read old posts like that one, I realize how funny wine makes me, or how funny I think I am when I drink wine. You decide.)
Evans goes after Driscoll this time for what has to be the most sophomoric thing the man has yet done. It would be pitiably stupid and childish if Driscoll weren't the pastor of more than 10,000 people. (And that number may be seriously underestimated.) As he does pastor a megachurch and oversee a pastoral network, his latest episode is unconscionable, if not sociopathic. On his facebook status, he posted: "So, what story do you have about the most effeminate anatomically male worship leader you've ever personally witnessed?" (Let's just ignore the missing comma and the unfortunate use of "personally.") Evans called this bullying. I'll leave it to you to read her post, and while you're at it, if you're feeling especially incensed, you can read Elizabeth Drescher's assessment over at RD. (She even goes into Tony Jones's response, which I thought was quite funny, but Drescher doesn't seem to appreciate for very solid reasons, by the way. Seriously, it is the most homoerotic sport of all time.)
How does a Christian leader get to the point that he believes it's acceptable to single out any demographic for belittling? That he singles out a demographic that has long been the prey of overly-juiced douches in Tap Out gear (Christian and non) is cause for extra shame. Except that I think Driscoll is fundamentally incapable of shame. In the response on Resurgence (sigh), Driscoll demonstrates that he is either so rationally inept as to not realize he completely missed the point, or he's so arrogant he doesn't give a fuck. In the spirit of extra options, I'll allow for "both a and b." Here's part of his response, called "Some Backstory."
I had a recent conversation with a stereotypical, blue-collar guy who drives his truck with his tools, lunchbox, and hard hat to his job site every day. He said he wasn’t a Christian, but he was open and wanted to learn what the Bible said. In that conversation, he told me he’d visited a church but that the guy doing the music made him feel uncomfortable because he was effeminate (he used another more colorful word, but that one will suffice in its place). He asked some questions about the Bible, and whether the Bible said anything about the kind of guy who should do the music. I explained the main guy doing the music in the Bible was David, who was a warrior king who started killing people as a boy and who was also a songwriter and musician.I then put a flippant comment on Facebook, and a raging debate on gender and related issues ensued. As a man under authority, my executive elders sat me down and said I need to do better by hitting real issues with real content in a real context. And, they’re right. Praise God I have elders who keep me accountable and that I am under authority.
Let's play the parsing game, shall we? I'll be honest Driscoll. Dear Readers of Resurgence and MMA fans everywhere: Blue collar guys (ed- apparently it's a particular kind of person, all of whom think alike) don't like gay or effeminate worship leaders, therefore, gay or effeminate worship leaders stand between blue collar guys and Jesus. The answer is to assure them that real worship leaders kill people while writing Nickelback homages. It looks like homo, but I think it's pronounced more like cheese, the French kind. And I hate them too. Make fun of them if you want, especially the Catholic ones. Anyway, the comment I made on facebook was not bullying; it was flippant. (ed- I do wonder how many school counselors have spoken to bullies who say, "It was a joke," as if not getting the joke is the true offense, not the crass stupidity, belligerence, and meanness of the bully.) My comment, though flippant, led to a rad debate so that people were talking about God and the Bible, but my elders, being far less hip than me, sat me down and spoke to me in the most unnatural sounding business marketing language ever used on a church leadership team. See, they realized that the real offense wasn't singling out the physically weak or mocking the "other." Nope. It was wasting my words on those queers in the first place. Thank Charlton Heston God for real men who know that I should talk to other real men and not waste my time with women and, you know, those other guys.
To make himself the peerless asshat of the week, Driscoll then closes with an announcement that he'll be starting a new blog to discuss these important gender-related issues. Never let a bullying debacle—I mean opportunity—to market yourself get away, Mark. It should be clear at this point that Reverend (cough) Driscoll follows a gospel that has far more to do with branding and self-aggrandizement than it does with, you know, loving effeminate people because God does too.
Ha! "Driscoll is the theological equivalent of a Nickelback song" made me laugh out loud. Great!
Posted by: Account Deleted | July 14, 2011 at 06:29 PM
Driscoll has some sort of fetish for mass murder. It frightens me.
Posted by: Paul D. | July 14, 2011 at 08:56 PM